My Life on the Chubby List: The 90 Day Crash

I know I said I was going to talk about something different in this post and that it has been awhile since I posted but I'm going to talk about something important in this post, the 90 day crash.

I went to the doc again on May 8, 2012. I have lost another five pounds for a total of 25lbs. I should excited right? Well, I'm not. I'm discouraged. I know you could see a difference in the pictures and everyone says they can really tell that I have lost weight but honestly I can't. I guess I really thought 25lbs would make a bigger difference. And other than my feet hurting less I don't feel that much better most of the time. I still get dizzy. I am still lacking energy but can't fall asleep easily. And my doc is telling me that I am still now eating often enough. I was really good this last four weeks; I mean I really felt like I was trying! I exercised more and really worked at eating more often... and then I only pulled half the lbs I wanted to. It is frustrating. I expressed my feelings to my doctor and she said that I am still on track and that she sees many of her patients do this. She calls it the 90 day crash. After three months of giving up foods you love, changing how you eat, how you work out, and after the initial rush of pulling the first big chunk of weight the high drops. She said many of her weight loss patients begin to become extremely critical of themselves after a very short period of time. She kept reminding me that I did not put all the weight on in three months so it is unrealistic to think that it would all come off that fast. She told me to focus on the fact that I am progressively loosing weight and that I myself have expressed that I do not want to loose too quickly. 

 Although I know what my doc is saying is all correct I am still upset that I only dropped 5lbs. I really wanted to loose at least 8lbs. I feel like my hard work is not really paying off and that it is going to take forever to reach my goal! I mean when you have 100+ lbs to loose getting rid of five of them really doesn't mean much. I am probably being too hard on myself but I just can't shake this downer mood. I think it is time to get serious with the exercise. I need a work out buddy that will help hold me accountable because when I get discouraged that exercise is the first thing that goes by the wayside because I don't like doing it! I know I am making excuses when I say that it has been a rough couple of weeks... but it is true. I have not been in the best mind set lately. And today I am just angry and discouraged. 

 I am really wondering how much weight I will have to pull until I really start to see a major difference myself, like clothes literally falling off of me or being able to shop in a non plus size store. I guess because I have no idea what my body will look like after I do reach my goal it is hard for me to imagine that these things will ever happen. I know it is silly but I feel like   if I don't see a major difference after loosing 25lbs maybe I still won't after 50lbs lost. And if that is true maybe loosing 100lbs isn't enough and if that is the case I feel like my goal is SO FAR AWAY! HOW WILL I EVER GET THERE!!!???? 

 I need to get my fire back. I need a better support system. I am obviously not pushing myself hard enough. So I am asking the few people that read my blog to please help me circulate it so I can find others that are struggling as I am. Please share with me your stories of success and struggle and what you did to push through. I need some serious inspiration here to get me through this crash, it is far to early in this journey to get lost and turn back. I am hoping that after I do loose 50 lbs I will have enough stamina to play sports again and start doing boot camp style workouts because I know it will be sooooo hard loose the last half of the weight. If I want to reach my goal of loosing 100lbs by next Jan. I need to loose 10lbs a month! It is a tall order and I need help getting there!